in this fast-paced world, it can be hard to communicate everything we want to say. even when we make time it may not come out right. communication really is an art. it is something we learned from a young age and somehow gets wired into us. it always amazes me how much i can hear my mother speaking when I speak to my own children. mothering is always keeping me on my toes and gives so many opportunities for learning and growth. the way we speak to one another as adults, and to our children will stick with them throughout their lives. that is why i find it so important to think carefully about the way we speak to our kiddos, and the impression it’s making on their little minds. two books i’m reading that help in this area are “no drama discipline” and “the whole brained child.” must reads for all families!! communication
making time for meaningful communication has been essential to keeping our family connected. this is especially true since i’m an infj and i tend to take on the emotions of others. making time to understand one another really helps to sort it all out. something else that has helped me is journaling. after 10 years of marriage and two kids, journaling has been a great outlet for the overwhelming emotions that come with it. as much as i love our family and feel so incredibly blessed, sometimes we can get caught in emotions that hold us back from being our best selves. and if there’s one thing that has rung true in motherhood, it is the fact that mothers tend to set the tone for the whole household. the tone of our voices, the vibes we give off through our body language. it all has an intertwining effect on everyone. this is why i have made it a point to take time to self reflect. time to pause when emotions are high and things feel out of sync. it’s in these moments i know i need to take a couple steps back to breathe, pray, write, cuddle up with a book, take a walk outside, or something to hit the reset button.
i was reading over my notes from a talk at our congregation on communication. one thing i wrote down was “we cannot live in the past….only in the present, and plan for the future.” as a family i feel it is so important to make time to plan together, including the kiddos. when everyone is on the same page and can work together for a common goal, it’s like we are a team, all cheering one another on. making time for meaningful communication is what gives us the reassurance that we’re rooting for each other.
whether you’re talking over dinner, snuggled up all together on the couch, or saying your last words before bed, ive put together a little list of things that have helped our family have more meaningful communication to keep us in sync with each other and on the same page through this busy little life.
• first and foremost, always wait til tummys are full!! (“hangry” is a real thing)
• find a comfy/cozy spot
• try to make it when no one is too tired
• avoid criticism
• avoid interrupting
• acknowledge each other’s feelings
• show empathy
• be reasonable and flexible
• humbly acknowledge mistakes (sometimes a simple, yet genuine “sorry” makes a world of difference)
it really is the little things that hold us together. i hope you and your family can find unique ways to make communication more meaningful and positive. being together snuggled up and keeping cozy is one of my favorite parts of this lovely fall season! communication